December 31, 2009
Things have certainly gotten better since that first week home from the hospital. I am physically feeling better - now that the pink eye, stomach bug, & UTI are all behind me! I have slowly begun the healing process. I have been able to go to church and not cry. Christmas was truly a joyful and blessed day! While I have enjoyed having both mine and Rick's family around these past two weeks, it has been really nice to just have some quiet time with just me and Rick.
I saw Dr. Molland on the 23rd. He was checking to make sure I hadn't fallen into some deep depression ;) I had told him that despite the "week from hell", I was still able to find some joy in things. I guess he felt sorry for me because he sent me a beautiful flower arrangement. I was so shocked to receive those flowers - such an act of kindness. I was overwhelmed with emotion.
Last night I went out for the first time in a LONG time with a friend of mine. No kids, no husband, just me. It was hard to remember what that felt like. It was a very relaxing, and I enjoyed myself immensly. I even drank a beer! ;-) Thanks Kristi!!!
I still haven't decided exactly when I will be heading back to work. Today is Rick's first day back at work. Good thing I have the kids here to keep me company! I still haven't had to face a day by myself. We'll just have to wait and see how I do with that one.
Many thanks to those of you out there who continue to pray for our healing. I know that with time all will be better, and I will continue to hold God's Grace close to my heart!
Happy New Year!!!! :-)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Hard Day
December 20, 2009
I had every intentions of today being a good day. While for the most part it was, it was to say the least an emotional day. We got up for church, and the first person I saw was Monsignor Bridges. He gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. My eyes immediately swelled up with tears. Then I saw Beth, she sang at Grace's service; she too gave me a big hug and I just started crying. That set the mood for the entire day - emotional! Throughtout mass I was teary-eyed. The choir sang two songs during mass that were sang at Grace's service. Then just the readings and homily set me to tears. And that was only the first hour of the day! Guess I'm not ready to face the world yet!
My dear friend Danielle came to visit this afternoon. She has helped me so much since we found out the diagnosis 3 months ago. It was so good to see her. Emotional as well. I was recapping events from the delivery as well as our experience at the hospital. I shared some pictures as well as some keepsakes given to me by the hospital. She is moving to Utah in just a few days, I'm really going to miss her!
So while this day was an emotional rollercoaster for me, and unfortunately the first of many "firsts", I did survive. Tomorrow will be a week from when Grace entered this world and passed on to the next. I am still going through the physical recovery from delivery, and have a long road ahead for the emotional healing. But I know that with the help of God's Grace I will get there!
I had every intentions of today being a good day. While for the most part it was, it was to say the least an emotional day. We got up for church, and the first person I saw was Monsignor Bridges. He gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. My eyes immediately swelled up with tears. Then I saw Beth, she sang at Grace's service; she too gave me a big hug and I just started crying. That set the mood for the entire day - emotional! Throughtout mass I was teary-eyed. The choir sang two songs during mass that were sang at Grace's service. Then just the readings and homily set me to tears. And that was only the first hour of the day! Guess I'm not ready to face the world yet!
My dear friend Danielle came to visit this afternoon. She has helped me so much since we found out the diagnosis 3 months ago. It was so good to see her. Emotional as well. I was recapping events from the delivery as well as our experience at the hospital. I shared some pictures as well as some keepsakes given to me by the hospital. She is moving to Utah in just a few days, I'm really going to miss her!
So while this day was an emotional rollercoaster for me, and unfortunately the first of many "firsts", I did survive. Tomorrow will be a week from when Grace entered this world and passed on to the next. I am still going through the physical recovery from delivery, and have a long road ahead for the emotional healing. But I know that with the help of God's Grace I will get there!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Grace Elizabeth Butler
GRACE ELIZABETH BUTLER
On December 14, 2009 our baby girl entered this world at 8:26pm. She came out with her eyes open and the first thing she saw was her Daddy. She was quickly cleaned up and weighed in at 4 pounds 6.9 ounces and 17 inches long. She was immediately given to me. She was so very beautiful. There was so much love in that room. Everything went absolutely perfect. We got to hold her and love on her for hours. Unfortunately about 30 minutes or so after her birth, our baby Grace went to be with our Lord and Savior. It's a blessing to know that she didn't suffer during her short time here on earth, and all she felt was pure love and joy. We laid her to rest on Wednesday, December 16th. The service was very simple, but oh so beautiful. You will always hold a special place in our hearts my dear baby girl. We love you!!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
48 hours
December 12, 2009
It is hard to believe that in only 48 hours I will be admitted to the hospital to induce labor. On one hand it seems time has just gone so slow with all of the uncertainties and inability to plan anything. But then on the other hand, our baby is about to be here and I'm not ready to say good-bye. I am going to miss so much all those little kicks and wiggles inside me. I wish I could stay pregnant forever just so I won't have to go through this. But obviously that's not an option. I know that whatever happens it is God's will, and His plan is perfect - even if I don't understand it.
So many people have commented to me on how "strong" I am and how they wouldn't be able to do what we have done. Well, I just want everyone to know, the strength does not come from me. Every single time I have questioned God or lost faith is when I have broken down. There I find myself on my knees (where I should be anyway!) asking God for the strength to keep going. And without fail, He lifts me back up! I feel so blessed that God has chosen ME to be the mother of this special angel! This baby will always have a special place in our hearts and family and will never be forgotten!!!
It is hard to believe that in only 48 hours I will be admitted to the hospital to induce labor. On one hand it seems time has just gone so slow with all of the uncertainties and inability to plan anything. But then on the other hand, our baby is about to be here and I'm not ready to say good-bye. I am going to miss so much all those little kicks and wiggles inside me. I wish I could stay pregnant forever just so I won't have to go through this. But obviously that's not an option. I know that whatever happens it is God's will, and His plan is perfect - even if I don't understand it.
So many people have commented to me on how "strong" I am and how they wouldn't be able to do what we have done. Well, I just want everyone to know, the strength does not come from me. Every single time I have questioned God or lost faith is when I have broken down. There I find myself on my knees (where I should be anyway!) asking God for the strength to keep going. And without fail, He lifts me back up! I feel so blessed that God has chosen ME to be the mother of this special angel! This baby will always have a special place in our hearts and family and will never be forgotten!!!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Final Check
December 10, 2009
Had my follow-up appt with Dr. Molland today. I am still only dilated at 1 cm. No major changes to report. At this time we are still on schedule to be admitted Monday, December 14th. Tomorrow I am going to meet with Leah, the photographer, to take one last set of maternity photos. Leah is going to be there at the hospital as well to take pictures of our little angel baby. Hopefully all will go well and my family will all make it in to town in time!
Had my follow-up appt with Dr. Molland today. I am still only dilated at 1 cm. No major changes to report. At this time we are still on schedule to be admitted Monday, December 14th. Tomorrow I am going to meet with Leah, the photographer, to take one last set of maternity photos. Leah is going to be there at the hospital as well to take pictures of our little angel baby. Hopefully all will go well and my family will all make it in to town in time!
Friday, December 4, 2009
God is Good!!!
December 3, 2009
What a busy afternoon! I had my sonogram with the perinatologists. Baby is still growing. I am 31 weeks 5 days. Baby measured right at 31 weeks, and approximate weight 3 pounds 13 ounces - how cute is that? I have felt from the beginning that this baby is a little girl. The tech couldn't confirm, but she thought the baby was a little girl as well. If it is a girl, her name will be Grace Elizabeth Butler.
Now on to the results of the sonogram. The heart has become significantly more enlarged and thickened. The bladder was HUGE. The doctor theorized that maybe there was a bladder obstruction to begin with that prevented the baby from urinating. This then caused the urine to back up into the kidneys, causing an increased amount of pressure withing the kidneys and ultimately forming the cysts. Or, it could be that there are two problems - a separate bladder obstruction and multicyctis kidneys from the start. The bottom line is the kidneys still don't function, there is still no amniotic fluid, and the lungs have not developed. Plus the heart is so big it is compressing the lung tissue. So, when the baby is born, it will still die from breathing problems.
Now for the good news! My placenta has moved completely out of the way!!!! It is no longer covering my cervix! This means I do not have to deliver by c-section, but instead naturally! What a relief that was. I had come to accept whatever God's will was in regards to the method of delivery, but was overjoyed to know that I wasn't going to have to have a c-section!!!! God is so good!!! Thank you to all who prayed that my placenta would move!!! :)
I discussed with Dr. Bruner how my blood sugars have been increasingly difficult for me to control. For those of you who do not know, I developed gestational diabetes with my 2 previous pregnancies, but fortunately I was able to control with diet. This pregnancy has been a challenge to maintain my blood sugars - they are all over the place. In a normal situation, they would put me on medication to manage my sugars. But Dr. Bruner point blank said it would be in my best interest to just deliver the baby instead of trying to treat the diabetes.
So we headed over to Dr. Molland's office. Between the two doctor visits, Rick and I spent hours in waiting rooms! But we finally saw Dr. Molland - fortunately Dr. Bruner had already called him with the results of the ultrasound. Dr. Molland performed an internal exam and discovered that I have already started to dilate (1 cm only, but it's a start)! He will recheck me in one week, and the tentative plan is to admit me on Monday, December 14th to induce labor. It's hard to believe that in only a week and a half our little baby will be here!
Thank you again to all of you who have been praying for us! I humbly ask that you continue to pray for us, as the hard part is almost here!
What a busy afternoon! I had my sonogram with the perinatologists. Baby is still growing. I am 31 weeks 5 days. Baby measured right at 31 weeks, and approximate weight 3 pounds 13 ounces - how cute is that? I have felt from the beginning that this baby is a little girl. The tech couldn't confirm, but she thought the baby was a little girl as well. If it is a girl, her name will be Grace Elizabeth Butler.
Now on to the results of the sonogram. The heart has become significantly more enlarged and thickened. The bladder was HUGE. The doctor theorized that maybe there was a bladder obstruction to begin with that prevented the baby from urinating. This then caused the urine to back up into the kidneys, causing an increased amount of pressure withing the kidneys and ultimately forming the cysts. Or, it could be that there are two problems - a separate bladder obstruction and multicyctis kidneys from the start. The bottom line is the kidneys still don't function, there is still no amniotic fluid, and the lungs have not developed. Plus the heart is so big it is compressing the lung tissue. So, when the baby is born, it will still die from breathing problems.
Now for the good news! My placenta has moved completely out of the way!!!! It is no longer covering my cervix! This means I do not have to deliver by c-section, but instead naturally! What a relief that was. I had come to accept whatever God's will was in regards to the method of delivery, but was overjoyed to know that I wasn't going to have to have a c-section!!!! God is so good!!! Thank you to all who prayed that my placenta would move!!! :)
I discussed with Dr. Bruner how my blood sugars have been increasingly difficult for me to control. For those of you who do not know, I developed gestational diabetes with my 2 previous pregnancies, but fortunately I was able to control with diet. This pregnancy has been a challenge to maintain my blood sugars - they are all over the place. In a normal situation, they would put me on medication to manage my sugars. But Dr. Bruner point blank said it would be in my best interest to just deliver the baby instead of trying to treat the diabetes.
So we headed over to Dr. Molland's office. Between the two doctor visits, Rick and I spent hours in waiting rooms! But we finally saw Dr. Molland - fortunately Dr. Bruner had already called him with the results of the ultrasound. Dr. Molland performed an internal exam and discovered that I have already started to dilate (1 cm only, but it's a start)! He will recheck me in one week, and the tentative plan is to admit me on Monday, December 14th to induce labor. It's hard to believe that in only a week and a half our little baby will be here!
Thank you again to all of you who have been praying for us! I humbly ask that you continue to pray for us, as the hard part is almost here!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thanksgiving
November 27, 2009
We celebrated Thanksgiving with Rick's mom yesterday. We all had a great time! We decided to be non-traditional with our food. Instead of a big turkey with all the fixings, we had smothered burritos, spanish rice, queso, jalapeno-cilantro cream cheese dip, and a caramel apple pie for dessert. We were soooo stuffed! The food was great! The kids had a blast playing outside with Paw-Paw. There was just so much to be thankful for! God continues to bless us!
I had my routine OB appt earlier this week. It was, fortunately, uneventful! Next weeek I will have the much anticipated visit with the perinatologist for my sonogram. I have begun to struggle some with questioning why, but I am trying so hard to remember I am not the one in control. I am trying to trust in our Lord, so please continue to pray for us as things draw near!
We celebrated Thanksgiving with Rick's mom yesterday. We all had a great time! We decided to be non-traditional with our food. Instead of a big turkey with all the fixings, we had smothered burritos, spanish rice, queso, jalapeno-cilantro cream cheese dip, and a caramel apple pie for dessert. We were soooo stuffed! The food was great! The kids had a blast playing outside with Paw-Paw. There was just so much to be thankful for! God continues to bless us!
I had my routine OB appt earlier this week. It was, fortunately, uneventful! Next weeek I will have the much anticipated visit with the perinatologist for my sonogram. I have begun to struggle some with questioning why, but I am trying so hard to remember I am not the one in control. I am trying to trust in our Lord, so please continue to pray for us as things draw near!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
28 week check-up
November 10, 2009
I had my routine check-up with Dr. Molland today. We visited about my placenta previa situation, and my growing frustration. From what I have read, those who bleed, usually present around 29 - 30 weeks gestation. Well I am 28 1/2 weeks. I told Dr. Molland I couldn't help but feel like a ticking time bomb. I asked him what the percentage of patients he saw with a complete previa that actually have a bleeding event - he said 25%. OK, that's pretty high. He asked me when my follow-up visit for my ultrasound was scheduled with Dr. Blanco, I told him December 3rd. Dr. Molland felt uncomfortable with waiting that long, so he called Dr. Blanco's office and moved my appointment up to November 20th.
So as I was driving home, Dr. Blanco called me. He wanted to visit with me about the change in appointment. He was advising against moving the ultrasound up since each examination via ultrasound (transvaginally) could incite bleeding. He also said 3 weeks from the last ultrasound was not enough time to see if the placenta had moved up and out of the way. So he recommended we keep the appt for December 3rd, and only if my clinical situation changes, i.e., I start bleeding or go into premature labor, would we look sooner.
So I will see Dr. Molland again on the 23rd of November, and Dr. Blanco on December 3rd.
I had my routine check-up with Dr. Molland today. We visited about my placenta previa situation, and my growing frustration. From what I have read, those who bleed, usually present around 29 - 30 weeks gestation. Well I am 28 1/2 weeks. I told Dr. Molland I couldn't help but feel like a ticking time bomb. I asked him what the percentage of patients he saw with a complete previa that actually have a bleeding event - he said 25%. OK, that's pretty high. He asked me when my follow-up visit for my ultrasound was scheduled with Dr. Blanco, I told him December 3rd. Dr. Molland felt uncomfortable with waiting that long, so he called Dr. Blanco's office and moved my appointment up to November 20th.
So as I was driving home, Dr. Blanco called me. He wanted to visit with me about the change in appointment. He was advising against moving the ultrasound up since each examination via ultrasound (transvaginally) could incite bleeding. He also said 3 weeks from the last ultrasound was not enough time to see if the placenta had moved up and out of the way. So he recommended we keep the appt for December 3rd, and only if my clinical situation changes, i.e., I start bleeding or go into premature labor, would we look sooner.
So I will see Dr. Molland again on the 23rd of November, and Dr. Blanco on December 3rd.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Hello Penny!!!
November 6, 2009
We welcomed Penny to our home today!! She is 6 weeks old and is a Boxer/Weimer mix. she is so sweet. Abby just absolutely loves her - but only on her terms!
Abby likes Penny only when she is sitting in her box or lying down on the floor. She doesn't like it when Penny tries to come up to her and say hello!
Rick and TJ are in Brownwood. They will be coming home tomorrow. That will be good because the dog kennel needs to be cleaned and Penny has been hanging out in a Pampers box!
She seems to like it just fine though.
We welcomed Penny to our home today!! She is 6 weeks old and is a Boxer/Weimer mix. she is so sweet. Abby just absolutely loves her - but only on her terms!
Abby likes Penny only when she is sitting in her box or lying down on the floor. She doesn't like it when Penny tries to come up to her and say hello!
Rick and TJ are in Brownwood. They will be coming home tomorrow. That will be good because the dog kennel needs to be cleaned and Penny has been hanging out in a Pampers box!
She seems to like it just fine though.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Tonsillectomy
October 30, 2009
TJ had his tonsillectomy today. We had to be at the hospital at 6:30 am, we got there about 6:15 am. What an early morning! The hospital had called us a few days before hand and told us that the kids could dress up in their costumes for Halloween. TJ was dressed as a zombie! Quite a scary looking zombie.
TJ had his tonsillectomy today. We had to be at the hospital at 6:30 am, we got there about 6:15 am. What an early morning! The hospital had called us a few days before hand and told us that the kids could dress up in their costumes for Halloween. TJ was dressed as a zombie! Quite a scary looking zombie.
Overall TJ did a great job!! He was a little nervous in the beginning, but then they gave him the versed! What a great drug! Literally 2 minutes after he got it, he started acting goofy. He was reaching for the television trying to grab Mickey Mouse. Then he kept trying to grab the ceiling lights. He was so very dizzy, but yet he kept trying to get out of the bed and kept falling over. His speech was so slurry you would have thought he was drunk! All the nurses got a kick out of him. Here is a video of him right before they took him back to the OR.
Afterwards, he was uncomfortable to say the least, but they loaded him up with demerol and the pain quickly began to subside. They moved him from recovery back up to his room. He had to meet certain requirements before he could go home.
- Dr. Patel requires all his patients to stay a minimum of 3 hours; in addition:
- He had to eat or drink something
- He had to take his pain medicine
- He had to urinate
He completed all 3 requirements within the first 30 minutes we were there. In fact, he ate 5 popsicles and a cup of jello before we left. He took his pain medication within 10 minutes of being in the room and since discharge he has had very little pain! Truly amazing! Hopefully he will do well overnight and won't have much pain control issues to deal with in the morning.
Follow up after sono
October 28, 2009
Saw Dr. Molland today. Fortunately he did not place me on bed rest for the placenta previa. He of course wants me to take things easy. No heavy lifting - which unfortunately for Abby means her since she weighs more than 20 pounds. She has not adjusted well to that change! He is optimistic that my placenta will move out of the way, and he told me he has experience delivering babies with a partially covered placenta. He did of course give me ER warnings should I start to hemorrhage, but hopefully it won't come to that.
Saw Dr. Molland today. Fortunately he did not place me on bed rest for the placenta previa. He of course wants me to take things easy. No heavy lifting - which unfortunately for Abby means her since she weighs more than 20 pounds. She has not adjusted well to that change! He is optimistic that my placenta will move out of the way, and he told me he has experience delivering babies with a partially covered placenta. He did of course give me ER warnings should I start to hemorrhage, but hopefully it won't come to that.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Pre-registration
October 27, 2009
TJ is scheduled for his tonsillectomy on Friday, Oct. 30th. We had to go to the hospital today to pre-register, but first we had to see his ENT surgeon, Dr. V. Patel. On Oct. 14th, TJ was diagnosed with strep throat, then exactly 6 days later he was diagnosed with two different strains of the flu (A & B). I have never seen a kid that sick before. He had such GI upset, the poor kiddo. Fortunately we were started on Tamiflu very quickly and TJ was a brand new kid within 24 hours. So when we went to see Dr. Patel, we wanted to make sure he was still good to go through with the surgery, which he was.
So we went to the hospital this afternoon. TJ did so good! Of course there was alot of waiting time, and that's hard for any 5 year old to handle, especially a wild child like ours! ;) When it was time for the blood draw, Rick was there to restrain him. Of course he screamed like a little girl at the mere sight of the needle, but the moment they stuck him with it he stopped screaming and just stared at what she was doing. I was shocked! When did he get to be such a big boy??? When the nurse finished she had some blood left over and asked TJ if he wanted her to put it back in, he quickly said NO!
Afterwards we took him to get a hamburger to eat (his favorite thing!). I promised him a hamburger for the next 2 days since after surgery he is only allowed to eat "soft foods" for 10 days! So the next step is to go buy a ton of ice cream, jello, applesauce, and pudding to last us a week and a half!!
TJ is scheduled for his tonsillectomy on Friday, Oct. 30th. We had to go to the hospital today to pre-register, but first we had to see his ENT surgeon, Dr. V. Patel. On Oct. 14th, TJ was diagnosed with strep throat, then exactly 6 days later he was diagnosed with two different strains of the flu (A & B). I have never seen a kid that sick before. He had such GI upset, the poor kiddo. Fortunately we were started on Tamiflu very quickly and TJ was a brand new kid within 24 hours. So when we went to see Dr. Patel, we wanted to make sure he was still good to go through with the surgery, which he was.
So we went to the hospital this afternoon. TJ did so good! Of course there was alot of waiting time, and that's hard for any 5 year old to handle, especially a wild child like ours! ;) When it was time for the blood draw, Rick was there to restrain him. Of course he screamed like a little girl at the mere sight of the needle, but the moment they stuck him with it he stopped screaming and just stared at what she was doing. I was shocked! When did he get to be such a big boy??? When the nurse finished she had some blood left over and asked TJ if he wanted her to put it back in, he quickly said NO!
Afterwards we took him to get a hamburger to eat (his favorite thing!). I promised him a hamburger for the next 2 days since after surgery he is only allowed to eat "soft foods" for 10 days! So the next step is to go buy a ton of ice cream, jello, applesauce, and pudding to last us a week and a half!!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Something new
October 22, 2009
I had my scheduled follow-up sonogram appointment for today. Not a whole lot has changed with respective to the baby. The baby continues to grow, and I feel movement everyday. I am 25 weeks 5 days today and the baby measured 24 weeks and weighed 1 pound 11 ounces. Seen for the first time today was the bladder and the stomach, both with fluid in them now. The right kidney is still enlarged and full of cysts, while the left kidney was hardly detectable; all the cysts on the left have been absorbed. So it seems there is some slight urine/fluid production by the baby, but there was still no measurable amount of fluid in the sac. So ultimately the prognosis has not changed any. There is still not enough fluid to allow proper development of the lungs.
At my last ultrasound 5 weeks ago, the placenta was in the anterior position. This means it was lying in front. Today the placenta is overlying my cervix - which is called placenta previa. I have a complete complete placent previa, which means the placenta completely covers the cervix. They scheduled me for another sono in 6 weeks to see if the placenta moves back up. If it doesn't move than I have to deliver via C-section. Which is not the idea scenario for our given situation.
I am determined not to get down about this latest news. There is a reason for everything, even if I don't know why. God is good and He will continue to carry us through this!!
I talked to my sister today, and she read a verse from Psalms that she had come across during her bible study today that I would like to share with all. It was most fitting for the day!
I had my scheduled follow-up sonogram appointment for today. Not a whole lot has changed with respective to the baby. The baby continues to grow, and I feel movement everyday. I am 25 weeks 5 days today and the baby measured 24 weeks and weighed 1 pound 11 ounces. Seen for the first time today was the bladder and the stomach, both with fluid in them now. The right kidney is still enlarged and full of cysts, while the left kidney was hardly detectable; all the cysts on the left have been absorbed. So it seems there is some slight urine/fluid production by the baby, but there was still no measurable amount of fluid in the sac. So ultimately the prognosis has not changed any. There is still not enough fluid to allow proper development of the lungs.
At my last ultrasound 5 weeks ago, the placenta was in the anterior position. This means it was lying in front. Today the placenta is overlying my cervix - which is called placenta previa. I have a complete complete placent previa, which means the placenta completely covers the cervix. They scheduled me for another sono in 6 weeks to see if the placenta moves back up. If it doesn't move than I have to deliver via C-section. Which is not the idea scenario for our given situation.
I am determined not to get down about this latest news. There is a reason for everything, even if I don't know why. God is good and He will continue to carry us through this!!
I talked to my sister today, and she read a verse from Psalms that she had come across during her bible study today that I would like to share with all. It was most fitting for the day!
Psalm 62: 5-8
For God alone my soul waits in silence,
for my hope is from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my deliverance and my honor;
my mighty rock, my refuse is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Puppies!!
October 17, 2009
Two days ago I went to my friend's house to see her new puppies. They are about 3 weeks old. The dad is a boxer and the mom is a weimer. They are soooo cute! The kids had such a good time with the puppies. TJ picked out a little girl and named her Penny. Abby had to have all the puppies with her - she just couldn't get enough of them! She had to love them and squeeze them! Going to have to take Ms. Penny home when she gets a bit older!!
Two days ago I went to my friend's house to see her new puppies. They are about 3 weeks old. The dad is a boxer and the mom is a weimer. They are soooo cute! The kids had such a good time with the puppies. TJ picked out a little girl and named her Penny. Abby had to have all the puppies with her - she just couldn't get enough of them! She had to love them and squeeze them! Going to have to take Ms. Penny home when she gets a bit older!!
Joyful Blessings!
October 16, 2009
Today around lunch time, Kayla gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! Payton Rhyan Holmes. She weighed 7 lb 10 oz. Both mom and baby are doing great!! Check out her birthday pictures!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sick Kiddos
October 14, 2009
I picked TJ up from school yesterday. He immediately proceeded to tell me that his "neck" hurt. By that he meant his throat. I looked at him and quickly noticed he had a fine rash on his neck, chest and back. My first thought was strep throat. Later that afternoon he also informed me his tummy hurt. I called the pediatrician's office and the got me an appointment first thing the next morning at 7:30 am.
I was waking Abby up so we could go to the see the pediatrician when I noticed she was on fire. She had a temperature of 103.8! TJ had barely run low-grade, 99.9 all afternoon yesterday. We drove to the office, and just as we were pulling into the parking lot she threw up all over herself. Oh joy. I was able to have them work Abby in too!
They swabbed TJ's throat and it tested positive for strep. Abby had infections in both ears and her throat was all red. They checked her for flu, and thankfully that came back negative. They decided not to swab her for strep, but to just treat her for it. Rick met me at the doc's office just in case they were going to give TJ a shot, but they didn't. So instead he went to the pharmacy & I took the kids home.
Dr. Nabulsi also commented on how large TJ's tonsils were. He asked us if TJ snored - YES!! Like a freight train! He questioned us about sleep apnea, and on retrospect realized he did quit breathing sometimes. So... we now have a referral to see an ENT specialist on Monday to discuss tonsillectomy. Better head out to Sam's and buy some ice cream before that surgery! Will keep you posted.
Thankfully both of the kids are doing better. Abby slept for over 2 hours this afternoon. Hopefully they will be fever free tomorrow and I can take them back to school on Friday.
I picked TJ up from school yesterday. He immediately proceeded to tell me that his "neck" hurt. By that he meant his throat. I looked at him and quickly noticed he had a fine rash on his neck, chest and back. My first thought was strep throat. Later that afternoon he also informed me his tummy hurt. I called the pediatrician's office and the got me an appointment first thing the next morning at 7:30 am.
I was waking Abby up so we could go to the see the pediatrician when I noticed she was on fire. She had a temperature of 103.8! TJ had barely run low-grade, 99.9 all afternoon yesterday. We drove to the office, and just as we were pulling into the parking lot she threw up all over herself. Oh joy. I was able to have them work Abby in too!
They swabbed TJ's throat and it tested positive for strep. Abby had infections in both ears and her throat was all red. They checked her for flu, and thankfully that came back negative. They decided not to swab her for strep, but to just treat her for it. Rick met me at the doc's office just in case they were going to give TJ a shot, but they didn't. So instead he went to the pharmacy & I took the kids home.
Dr. Nabulsi also commented on how large TJ's tonsils were. He asked us if TJ snored - YES!! Like a freight train! He questioned us about sleep apnea, and on retrospect realized he did quit breathing sometimes. So... we now have a referral to see an ENT specialist on Monday to discuss tonsillectomy. Better head out to Sam's and buy some ice cream before that surgery! Will keep you posted.
Thankfully both of the kids are doing better. Abby slept for over 2 hours this afternoon. Hopefully they will be fever free tomorrow and I can take them back to school on Friday.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Faith
October 11, 2009
So a very dear friend of mine from work dropped in to see me after my "car incident". I remember telling her, what am I going to do when the baby gets here if I can't even handle a silly incident like my car? How will I handle everything I am going to go through? She so lovingly and faithfully reminded me how I have put my trust in the Lord and have asked Him to handle everything for me with regards to the baby; and that I would be just fine. The car was such an event for me because I didn't trust God with it. How true her words were!!
So with that, I have once again put all my trust back to God and in return have found peace again. God is so good! Then I heard this song by Mercy Me. Hope you like...
Mercy Me - Bring the Rain
From the album Coming Up To Breathe
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life has changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you oh Lord
My only shelter from the storms
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Chorus:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain
I am Yours regarless of
The dark coulds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray
Chorus:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
So a very dear friend of mine from work dropped in to see me after my "car incident". I remember telling her, what am I going to do when the baby gets here if I can't even handle a silly incident like my car? How will I handle everything I am going to go through? She so lovingly and faithfully reminded me how I have put my trust in the Lord and have asked Him to handle everything for me with regards to the baby; and that I would be just fine. The car was such an event for me because I didn't trust God with it. How true her words were!!
So with that, I have once again put all my trust back to God and in return have found peace again. God is so good! Then I heard this song by Mercy Me. Hope you like...
Mercy Me - Bring the Rain
From the album Coming Up To Breathe
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life has changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you oh Lord
My only shelter from the storms
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Chorus:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain
I am Yours regarless of
The dark coulds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray
Chorus:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Stupid Car!
October 7, 2009
So today began like any other day. I got up, showered, got dressed, had breakfast, packed TJ's backpack. Both of the kids amazingly woke up on time and in a good mood!! Abby wasn't too clingy, a little, but not too much. It was 7:30am and we were loading up to leave the house. That's when I discovered the problem. Once again, I had left all the interior lights on in my car, and the battery was dead. Yes, I said once again... this being the THIRD time in the past month! Where is my brain?????
I called Rick, but he was still on-duty at the fire department and must have been out on a run because he didn't answer his phone. Abby and TJ were playing in the front yard having a blast while I was steadily losing it. Rick has this battery charger thing that he used last time to jump start my car. I went out to the shop to go get it (have since decided it needs to stay in the garage next to my car for immediate access!). I called TJ's school to let them know he would be late. I brought the thing back to the garage and was hoping there were clear, concise directions on how to use it -- NOT! So, what's a girl to do?? Why call her Daddy of course!!
Fortunately, I got ahold of my dad and he instructed me on how to hook up the cables. He said the red one goes to the positive one. OK, which one is positive??? Finally I find this little + sign. They really should make it more obvious! Dad says hook it up to the post. What post??? The part where the cable enters the battery, he says. Well, I guess I'm not to mechanically inclined because I was having a really hard time figuring out which part was the "post". So I decided I would just put the giant alligator clip over the entire metal part. Crossing my fingers. Did the same with the balck one. Then I turned the machine on for 10 minutes to charge.
Let me just tell you that 10 minutes seems to go on forever sometimes... My mother-in-law called me about this time to tell me about these cute little pigs that they were talking about on the Today show. Apparently they are being sold out of England and they cost $1100! But the catch is you have to buy two at a time and you can't work, you have to be able to stay at home with them so they don't get lonely. Isn't that why you buy 2 at a time???? Anyway, I proceeded to tell Cookie all about my battery problem (for the third time!). I of course started crying. How could I be so stupid? How could I do this three times within a month's time???? She lives next door and graciously offered me her vehicle and said she would keep Abby for me. Well, I only had 5 more minutes to wait to see if I had done it right. So we kept talking just a bit longer. 5 minutes had passed and I turned the key. Praise God!!! The car started!!!!! I immediately loaded up the kids and took off.
Rick called around this time. He was just getting off work. I just started crying on the phone with him. He was soooo reassuring. He said if this is the worst thing that happens all day then it will have been a good day. I was glad he wasn't upset with me. I told him we needed to buy me a new car, one that automatically turns off the lights!! :)
I dropped TJ off at school (only about 7 minutes late! Not too bad!). Then headed back to take Abby to daycare. After dropping the kids off I just lost it. I started crying so much. I called my sister and cried to her for like 15 minutes. We are talking sobbing, not just the sniffles. It's amazing how when the routine goes the way its supposed to, I am able to handle things just fine. But through one wrench and I lose it! Finally I pulled myself together. Figured out which way to drive to work. Now I'm here and hoping the rest of the day goes well...
So today began like any other day. I got up, showered, got dressed, had breakfast, packed TJ's backpack. Both of the kids amazingly woke up on time and in a good mood!! Abby wasn't too clingy, a little, but not too much. It was 7:30am and we were loading up to leave the house. That's when I discovered the problem. Once again, I had left all the interior lights on in my car, and the battery was dead. Yes, I said once again... this being the THIRD time in the past month! Where is my brain?????
I called Rick, but he was still on-duty at the fire department and must have been out on a run because he didn't answer his phone. Abby and TJ were playing in the front yard having a blast while I was steadily losing it. Rick has this battery charger thing that he used last time to jump start my car. I went out to the shop to go get it (have since decided it needs to stay in the garage next to my car for immediate access!). I called TJ's school to let them know he would be late. I brought the thing back to the garage and was hoping there were clear, concise directions on how to use it -- NOT! So, what's a girl to do?? Why call her Daddy of course!!
Fortunately, I got ahold of my dad and he instructed me on how to hook up the cables. He said the red one goes to the positive one. OK, which one is positive??? Finally I find this little + sign. They really should make it more obvious! Dad says hook it up to the post. What post??? The part where the cable enters the battery, he says. Well, I guess I'm not to mechanically inclined because I was having a really hard time figuring out which part was the "post". So I decided I would just put the giant alligator clip over the entire metal part. Crossing my fingers. Did the same with the balck one. Then I turned the machine on for 10 minutes to charge.
Let me just tell you that 10 minutes seems to go on forever sometimes... My mother-in-law called me about this time to tell me about these cute little pigs that they were talking about on the Today show. Apparently they are being sold out of England and they cost $1100! But the catch is you have to buy two at a time and you can't work, you have to be able to stay at home with them so they don't get lonely. Isn't that why you buy 2 at a time???? Anyway, I proceeded to tell Cookie all about my battery problem (for the third time!). I of course started crying. How could I be so stupid? How could I do this three times within a month's time???? She lives next door and graciously offered me her vehicle and said she would keep Abby for me. Well, I only had 5 more minutes to wait to see if I had done it right. So we kept talking just a bit longer. 5 minutes had passed and I turned the key. Praise God!!! The car started!!!!! I immediately loaded up the kids and took off.
Rick called around this time. He was just getting off work. I just started crying on the phone with him. He was soooo reassuring. He said if this is the worst thing that happens all day then it will have been a good day. I was glad he wasn't upset with me. I told him we needed to buy me a new car, one that automatically turns off the lights!! :)
I dropped TJ off at school (only about 7 minutes late! Not too bad!). Then headed back to take Abby to daycare. After dropping the kids off I just lost it. I started crying so much. I called my sister and cried to her for like 15 minutes. We are talking sobbing, not just the sniffles. It's amazing how when the routine goes the way its supposed to, I am able to handle things just fine. But through one wrench and I lose it! Finally I pulled myself together. Figured out which way to drive to work. Now I'm here and hoping the rest of the day goes well...
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Flu Shots
October 2, 2009
I found out that the kids pediatrician had gotten flu shots in and they were holding a "flu clinic". First come, first serve for the first 50 patients, from 1pm to 4pm. What is this - the health department??? I've never heard of something so crazy. I called and tried to schedule them, but the receptionist refused. So... I took off work and left to pick up the kids. By the time I had picked up both of them it was already 1:15pm. I decided to call to see how many people had shown up - 56!!!!! The receptionist said they weren't taking anymore patients today. CRAZY!!! I explained to her how I had taken off of work and gotten my kids out of school / day care to get their shots and now I would have to do it all over again????? Fortunately she felt sorry for me and said we could come in. Thank you!!! Of course we did wait over 2.5 hours for them to get their shots, but it got done! What about when the H1N1 vaccine comes out -- what will happen then? Just might go to health dept! LOL!!
I found out that the kids pediatrician had gotten flu shots in and they were holding a "flu clinic". First come, first serve for the first 50 patients, from 1pm to 4pm. What is this - the health department??? I've never heard of something so crazy. I called and tried to schedule them, but the receptionist refused. So... I took off work and left to pick up the kids. By the time I had picked up both of them it was already 1:15pm. I decided to call to see how many people had shown up - 56!!!!! The receptionist said they weren't taking anymore patients today. CRAZY!!! I explained to her how I had taken off of work and gotten my kids out of school / day care to get their shots and now I would have to do it all over again????? Fortunately she felt sorry for me and said we could come in. Thank you!!! Of course we did wait over 2.5 hours for them to get their shots, but it got done! What about when the H1N1 vaccine comes out -- what will happen then? Just might go to health dept! LOL!!
Preparing
October 1, 2009
It's hard to believe it has been 3 weeks already since we were first told about our baby. I have tried to remain positive. God continues to place people in my path to guide me. Danielle gave me 2 infant outfits that she made; one for the baby and one for us to keep. They are so beautiful and so perfect. All white with satin trim. I also have a beautiful white blanket and cap my mother-in-law made for the baby. We also bought an infant sized rosary and we have some holy water for when the baby comes. While I can't control when this will all happen, at least I can try and prepare for it all. I also ordered some 3D sculpting/casting kits to keep a memory of the baby's feet and hands.
I also made a call to a local funeral home. Boy was that the hardest call to make!!! I was so upset by the time I hung up the phone I didn't remember anything she told me, except a casket would cost $150 and everything else was donated by the funeral home. How amazing is that!?! I had to have Rick call them back, and God bless him he took care of all the arrangements, to include talking with Monsignor Bridges and the cemetary. I just couldn't bring myself to call them back. We have decided to have a service for our family members only. It will just be too hard to share beyond family...
It's hard to believe it has been 3 weeks already since we were first told about our baby. I have tried to remain positive. God continues to place people in my path to guide me. Danielle gave me 2 infant outfits that she made; one for the baby and one for us to keep. They are so beautiful and so perfect. All white with satin trim. I also have a beautiful white blanket and cap my mother-in-law made for the baby. We also bought an infant sized rosary and we have some holy water for when the baby comes. While I can't control when this will all happen, at least I can try and prepare for it all. I also ordered some 3D sculpting/casting kits to keep a memory of the baby's feet and hands.
I also made a call to a local funeral home. Boy was that the hardest call to make!!! I was so upset by the time I hung up the phone I didn't remember anything she told me, except a casket would cost $150 and everything else was donated by the funeral home. How amazing is that!?! I had to have Rick call them back, and God bless him he took care of all the arrangements, to include talking with Monsignor Bridges and the cemetary. I just couldn't bring myself to call them back. We have decided to have a service for our family members only. It will just be too hard to share beyond family...
Perspective
September 24, 2009
I couldn't sleep tonight. I've had a friend of mine on my mind a lot lately. At 2:00 am I decided to get on facebook to see what's been going on in her life. It's been about a year since I last saw her. So I looked at her "status", and it said widow. How could this be??? She's a young 20-something woman who just recently married??? My heart just sank. Then it got me thinking... what would I do if I lost Rick? I just broke down in tears. I can handle what God has given me right now. How can I be upset for him taking back what belonged to him anyway. Isn't it better to have God take this baby then for it to have a life of suffering?? Lord, I thank you for your blessings; for all you have given to us, for all you have kept from us, and for the things you take away. I praise you!!
I couldn't sleep tonight. I've had a friend of mine on my mind a lot lately. At 2:00 am I decided to get on facebook to see what's been going on in her life. It's been about a year since I last saw her. So I looked at her "status", and it said widow. How could this be??? She's a young 20-something woman who just recently married??? My heart just sank. Then it got me thinking... what would I do if I lost Rick? I just broke down in tears. I can handle what God has given me right now. How can I be upset for him taking back what belonged to him anyway. Isn't it better to have God take this baby then for it to have a life of suffering?? Lord, I thank you for your blessings; for all you have given to us, for all you have kept from us, and for the things you take away. I praise you!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Brownwood Trip
September 19, 2009
We decided to take a weekend trip to our land in Brownwood. What a great idea that was to get away. I didn't have to deal with talking to anyone about our "situation". I just enjoyed time with the family. Here are some pictures. Watch out for us "out-laws"!!
1 week follow-up
September 17, 2009
So a week has gone by. I decided to send an email out to everyone so as to let everyone know in a quick and easy manner. I had my follow up appointment with Dr. Blanco and Dr. Molland. Both agreed in letting nature take its course. They also both agreed that at delivery time it would be best not to have external fetal monitoring. It would only cause me more stress/anxiety during delivery. Dr. Molland also reassured me about the delivery process. He also lent me an extra fetal doppler so I could listen to the baby's heartbeat at home. What a reassurance! I did promise Rick that I wouldn't obsess over things. So now I will see Dr. Molland every 2 weeks for viability checks. My next sono with Dr. Blanco won't be until about 4 weeks.
So a week has gone by. I decided to send an email out to everyone so as to let everyone know in a quick and easy manner. I had my follow up appointment with Dr. Blanco and Dr. Molland. Both agreed in letting nature take its course. They also both agreed that at delivery time it would be best not to have external fetal monitoring. It would only cause me more stress/anxiety during delivery. Dr. Molland also reassured me about the delivery process. He also lent me an extra fetal doppler so I could listen to the baby's heartbeat at home. What a reassurance! I did promise Rick that I wouldn't obsess over things. So now I will see Dr. Molland every 2 weeks for viability checks. My next sono with Dr. Blanco won't be until about 4 weeks.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Something wrong
September 10, 2009
I had my routine OB appointment scheduled for today. About a week ago I had felt the first kicks from our baby. Needless to say, I was very excited!! I had forgotten what those kicks had felt like. The kicks only lasted through the morning, then went away, but that didn't really concern me. However, over the course of the week, I did not feel the kicks anymore. The closer I got to today's appointment, the more anxious I became. I had this horrible feeling that something was wrong. The day before my appointment I went to the church and asked Father Rodriguez for a blessing and to remove this anxiety and nervousness.
When I showed up for my appointment with my OB, the nurse asked me the same questions, how I was feeling, was I feeling the baby move, etc... I told her I hadn't felt the baby move in almost a week and was feeling a lot of anxiety about it. She put me in the room that has the sono machine. Dr. Molland came in and asked me how I was doing; I immediately started crying. I just had this overwhelming feeling that something was wrong, and nothing he said was reassuring me. I just needed to see that everything was ok. He put the sono probe on me, and immediately I saw the baby's heartbeat. I was overjoyed and was silently thanking God! But then Dr. Molland pointed out to me there was very little amniotic fluid around the baby and he was going to arrange for me to see the perinatologist, Dr. Blanco that afternoon.
I was a work-in patient, so I had to wait a couple of hours before they called my name. The tech at Dr. Blanco's office performed the initial, in-depth sono. She made a comment to me that there was NO measurable amount of amniotic fluid. Instantly my heart sank. I immediately blurted out "can you put more in??" Dr. Blanco came in to repeat the scan & give me the "official report". He confirmed there was no amniotic fluid, and that the baby had multiple cysts on both kidneys. In addition, the ureters had not formed.
I was having trouble understanding why there was no fluid. Through out my first trimester all my sonograms had shown more than enough fluid, with my last sono being at 13 weeks. I was now 19 weeks 5 days. Dr. Blanco explained that up until 13 to 14 weeks, my body maintained the amniotic fluid; but after that the baby takes over. Apparently the amniotic fluid is made by the baby's kidneys, then it go through a process of replenshing and recycling to maintain the level. The baby learns to swallow the fluid and "breathe" the fluid, thereby allowing the lungs and internal organs to develop properly. Also, the baby moves all around in the fluid and the muscles develop normally. Since there is no fluid, none of that can happen.
Now for the really bad news... this is 100% fatal. Since none of the organs, especially the lungs can develop properly, nothing can be done at birth to save the baby, i.e. dialysis, organ transplant. Majority of these babys die in utero. If by chance I carry to term, and the baby is born alive, it will die very quickly (minutes to hours) from respiratory problems. The condition is called Potter's Syndrome.
The first 24 hours all I wanted to do was cry. I prayed to God to give me the strength to accept His will & to do what He asked of me. I literally gave it all to God. In return, he has placed such caring and loving people in my path to help me. Within 24 hours, 3 angels had come to my rescue.
The first was Danielle. She emailed me several web sites to look at. The first was to a girl in Utah by the name of Heidi. Unfortunately, Heidi had a baby with a very similar condition. She was able to give me so much information, especially from a personal point of view. She continues to be a source of comfort and information for me. Her web site is http://www.angelbabiesinfo.com/
Danielle also gave me a link to a free service offering infant berevement photography. www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/home There is one woman here in my area who provides this service. Basically, when our baby is born, she will come to the hospital and take pictures of our little angel. The photographer's name is Leah Moorefield. Her web site is http://www.lkmphotography.com/ and www.lkmphoto.com/blog Leah is the sweetest person. She has even offered me a complimentary maternity session so I can capture every moment with this baby! She even included Rick and the kids. Here are some of the pictures.
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